POSTS
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
my mind is at a loss
i really dont know what to do anymore
yes i have heard some advice
but does it matter?
i dont want to make any decisions that i will regret for the rest of my life
but i guess it doesnt affect you in any way
why?
cos you dont even give a shit about my feelings
to you i am just a piece of shit lying on the ground
and you cant even be bothered to take a glance at me
leaving me to rot and die there
i may be exaggerating
but thats how i feel
if u think i am at fault for expressing my feelings
then u can jolly well bang your head on the wall
sometimes i wished that i could be dead
i wished i never had known you
you brought me so much pain
you brought me tears
you even let me have a taste of despair
you destroy my life totally
and yet
i still love you that much
i still wanna care about you
i still want to be that umbrella to shelter you when it rains
i still want to be the star to guide you when you are lost
i still want to that blanket to keep you warm when you are cold
i am still hoping that a miracle will happen
i am still waiting patiently for that day
i am still waiting
yes i am
go die.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
everytime i decide to ignore you for good
when i decide never to talk to you again
when i decide to forget you and start a new life
everything was decided before i saw you
but
everything changed after i saw you
when i started to ignore you
refusing to answer ur call or reply ur sms
i felt so guilty
but i didnt change my mind till i saw how miserable ur face look
my heart melted completely
i dont know what you wan me to do
everytime i dont give a hoot about you
you look so miserable and down
when i wanted to talk to you
you never seem to be free
and what should i do?
i wan to see that cheerful and delighted look on ur face
but it never seem to appear when you are talking to me
do i really spoil your day so much?
it really puts me in a spot whenever i think about this
if i could choose again
i would choose never to know you
and i guess the same goes for u too
i am really at a loss
go die.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
i am sorry for ignoring u
i didnt do it on purpose
but i tink it doesnt matter
cos it wouldnt break ur heart or affect u
u wanna know the reason y i am ignoring u?
cos u matter that much to me
cos i love u
guess u wun be reading this
but
just wanna say
maybe i am going overboard ignoring u
but its the only way for me to forget u
pls
dun contact me anymore
just treat it as i've just died
sorry
go die.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
feeling so empty
haiz
i dun noe why
maybe cos of you
i am at a loss
tell me what to do
A day without hearing your voice or seeing you can be so miserable,
it can really be a torture to miss you sometimes.
never a day past without me thinking of you,
hoping that when my phone ring, it is you on the other end
feeling so happy whenever a sms comes in, only to be greeted by disappointment upon realising it was not from you
even taking a bus can remind me of you,
so much wanted to see you every minute every second
do you know?
but why do i feel so empty and sad when i am with you?
yes,
you may joke and talk with me,
i may seem happy infront of you,
but i feel so empty within me.
seems to me that you never care about me
i wanna get an answer from you.
yes i admit
i fear rejection
but
it is not wat matters most to me.
wat matters most to me,
is ,
you
not rejection
not emptiness
it is
the one and only you
go die.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
oh man 8/30 for my quiz.
>.
lucky i have passed my CA for this sem. which means i only need 40 marks to pass my final yr exam. wahahaha~~~~~~~
-.-"
anyway exam coming soon liao. starting from 5 September to 9 September, after that its freedom again~ lol going crazy again.
anyway presentation tml for my research stuff. oh god feel so nervous and excited! =X anyway, good luck for me tml. saw the marking scheme just now, guess i gonna fail my presentation for sure. zzz. fuck man
good luck
let me pass
go die.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
2 tests today - PIPC and E.maths
PIPC? 90% pass, so dont have to worry too much abt it.
E.maths? FUCK the paper is 30marks. i would just be damn happy if i can get 10. just dont let me get a single digit. please. zzz.
1 more news
oh yeah i am going to pulau tekong tml. yes pulau tekong. u might wanna ask, go there for fuck?yes, we are going there for fuck. lol lame.
we are suppose to be going there to visit our future training camp. in short means NS. cool huh?my ass. imagine going there, no water, no food, hot and sunny weather, and the worse thing is, there is no hp reception at tekong. zzzz.
well both guys and girls have to go for the trip tml. girls?just going there to see how hard we guys are going to face in the future. say until very nice huh?in short, it is just to gain sympathy from the girls.
so, yes we are going there for fuck.
wat makes tml even worse is, lab test in the morning. zzz. guess they will be testing us on whether our lab coat is neat or not, whether our gloves has any shit on it. stupid test, fuck.
1 last qn-is there any1 still reading my blog?
once again, life suk
go die.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Once upon a time, there was this woman who secretly admired a guy at her workplace. She did not dare to tell him how she felt, as she was afraid of being rejected. What she didnt knew was the guy actually love her too.
On 1 particular day, the guy waited for the woman to finish work, which was where he went up to her and ask her out for dinner. The woman agreed, and they went to an restaurant subsequently. While they were having their dinner silently, a waiter came up to the table and put a bunch of roses beside the woman plate.
This was when the guy held the woman's hand and told her he loved her. The woman was shocked yet happy that the guy she had been secretly admiring admired her too. That night, they started their sweet and romantic first date.
Good things always come to an end. Their happiness did not last long. A few months after, the guy started treating the woman coldly and ignored her calls and sms. The woman decided to confront the guy after much consideration, only to hear from the guy that he had fallen in love with another woman.
The woman's family upon hearing the news tried to contact her, but to no avail. No one knows where she had gone to. They tried every means and ways to find her, but there was still no news of her for 3 days 3 nights.
Little do their family know that the woman was actually at the beach, sorting her thoughts and crying her hearts out for 3 days 3 nights. She thought of suiciding, but did not have the courage to do so.
On the 4th day, she was still at the beach, crying bitterly when a monk passed by.
Out of sympathy, the monk asked, "May i know why are you crying?"
The woman whimpered, "I have been dumped. My boyfriend doesnt want me anymore."
The monk, upon hearing what the woman had said, laughed loudly.
The woman, being pissed off by the monk's laughter, shouted, "How can you laugh at such a thing?Arent you supposed to console me?"
The monk, having recovered from his laughter, replied, "Oh my dear, you shouldnt be crying. You should be celebrating!"
The woman got so fed up with the monk that she scolded, "You faggot monk, get lost!"
The monk replied patiently, "You have just lost a person who doesnt love u anymore, but he, your boyfriend, have lost a person who loved him dearly. Now, should you be crying or celebrating?"
The woman stopped crying upon hearing what the monk had said. She apologized for scolding the monk, and thanked him sincerely. She wiped away her tears, and returned home to live her life again.
--------------End----------------
story no meaning -.-
go die.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
---------back----------
finally time for update. any1 waiting for this?=X
sick and tired of life. everyday is just studies and results.
my CP spoke to me abt my attitude problem. again, 1 more teacher to my 'list of teachers who said i've attitude problem'
so what if i have an attitude problem. so what if i talk back to teachers. so what if u all bloody teachers dun respect me. do my face show that i give a shit about it?
yes i scolded my teacher. i talk back, argued. so whats the big problem about that. if u think u can intimidate me by adding my attitude problem in my life file, then u can just simply fuck off and suck cock. if u think by adding a black mark to my life file would affect it adversely, please, grow up.
what fucking right do u have to comment my attitude when u only known me for less then 3 months?u said my attitude needs further improvement, but do u know i am trying my best?do you know what shit stuffs i've to bear with in order to match up with your 'no attitude problem'?
no1 seems to notice how hard am i trying to curb my temper and improve my attitude. in your eyes i am just an asshole who find pleasure in talking back to teachers. think about it again. is that really the fucking case?if you really think so, you can jolly well bang ur empty skull against the wall till it splits up. chao chee bye.
my results are deteriorating - thx to my laziness. i scored 0.5/10 for my quiz. please note that its 0.5 NOT 5, understand?and the 0.5marks were actually given to me for my effort and nothing else.
is poly life just results?at least 1 quiz a week. and everyone is so damn bloody concerned about their marks including me. seems that everyone study so hard to improve their studies. and here i am, worrying about my marks but doesnt give a fuck to improve it. i was told that i had to pass every subject to go to the next sem. sound easy? try doing it yourself and you understand.
long post?i dun tink so. more to go now.
i am really at a loss at what to do
please,
give me some directions to help you
i hate to see you miserable and lonely
yes,
i may be dumb
i may be retard
but i know you are important to me
dun treat me so cold
give me another chance,
i will treasure it,
please
1 more thing. i actually fucking forget to bring my notes back. oh god please let me have my notes back. the notes were damn bloody thick and i guess it would cost around 5bucks to photocopy it. and my newly-bought foolscap.
fucking down on my luck ever since sch started. things started disappearing and get lost. 1st - my pen. 2nd - my notes. 3rd - my money. 4th - notes again. god if you wanna punish me just let me get knocked over by a car when i cross the road. just let me die instantly. does it makes you fucking happy to make fun of and torture me?
to end, sorry for the use of crude languages.
go die.
