POSTS
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
indeed
exams are over, but yet i do not have the 'after exam' mood. no mood to play no mood to enjoy no mood to work. nothing at all. just feel like rotting myself away. zzzz
back to working for the past few days. work was terribly tedious. maybe cos i dont have the stamina to work long hours anymore. or maybe cos i stop smoking.
i am expected to feel relieve and relax after exam, but yet i dont feel any of those. the same stressful life revolves around me. from the moment i wake up to sleeping again. its just work and work and work. others can jolly well enjoy and slack their holiday away yet i have to work, dragging my body to work and back home everyday. whats the reward for working so hard?
money?yes it is essential, but having money doesnt mean anything. so whats if you've got all the money in the world when there's no one to share your happiness, no one to spend with you, and most importantly - there's no one to care and love you. so what the fuck is having money without any of these useful?
finally i am able to ignore you
i haven been contacting you for days
yet i dont feel as worthless and useless
i guess
i am already used to it
days without you
yes i admit it can be a real torture
but
i've felt nothing much
maybe i've develop an immunity to it
seems to me you never really care about this
so i am not going to fucking care about it anymore
take it as the end of our friendship
the end of my sufferings
the end of everything
i am finally able to forget you
finally
go die.