POSTS
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
ok i am feeling depressed again. zzz. i was playing game so happily when tis cloud of depression suddenly came over me. well i started scolding every1 in the game.
well i noe tis guy whos a big fucker. he posts his shit and anything he could tink of in his blog without considering anything. he keeps complaining abt his life which he thought was just crap through and through. familiar?
yes thats me. and yes i admit i am a fucker in and out. i dun consider feelings of any1 reading my blog. i am a bastard at times, bullying ppl and scolding them. watever u say i've got it and i admit everything. thats me.
i dun spare a thought for every1 around me. just like to do everything my way my style. and cos of that i noe that i've offended and neglect alot of ppl and important things around me. i admit everything. thats me again.
and pls to ppl out there reading tis - i am writing tis not bcos i want ur sympathy or anything. pls dun get my meaning wrong.
i noe i've attitude problem, i am rude, proud, ignorant, i accept all critisms. and i dun blame any1 who say that to me, cos its from the bottom of ur heart and i noe it. fuck and scold me for all u like. i deserve that.
how i wish i could cry my hearts out and loud. i am having a hard time with myself. acting strong and cheerful in front of others when i am feeling so lonely inside. how i wish there was some1 who i can pour all my troubles to. how i wish i could throw away every single problem and troubles now. but its all wishes.
can i go to the 20th floor and just jump down?
and if i do that wats going to happen to my parents?how could i even tink of leaving them behind. fuck me. i am so useless.
so many troubles in my heart. how i wish i could vomit everything out and start life afresh. i cant. its all wishes again.
and i am restricting myself again. i dun wanna scold unnecessary vulgarities. having such a hard time controlling myself again and again. just wish that i can vent my anger on something.
i hate myself
zzzz
go die.
